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Name: James Schend
E-mail: james@schend.net
Homepage: www.schend.net
Message:
Any particular reason your guestbook resides on an un-American server? I should report you to the CIAFBI! Or something!
Haven't you heard that i'm communist?
So that you understand this entry, when this guestbook was started, it was at www.freegbook.nu. It has since been moved to Alxnet.
Next communism
Next post from James
Name: Somer Marnez
E-mail: fivekisses@htomail.com hotmail.com assumed
Message:
Hey!! I think your a laugh!! you have to e-mail me!! i think yougot somethign that i want!! xoxox Somer
I don't know what she has that she thinks i want, but i have the feeling that it could endanger my upcoming marriage. So, Somer, when are you responding to my e-mail? What do you have?
Name: aGe2.1
E-mail: removed for spam protection
Message:
What a laugh! Very cool. I just sniffed through the internet searching for "scheissmusik" and then came across the german version of your "essay". ITS COMPLETELY CRAZY! Your Thoughts about Rockmusic that will be remembered as Shitmusic WAY ROCKS!!!! LAUGHTER!!! Keep up the cool work!
Yes. That's how I will be remembered forever. My legacy for the future of humanity will be shit. Big stinky cow shit that's been sitting out in the fields for 3 three days. A huge-ass truckload of cowshit that wrecked on the side of the freeway, and all who passed were overcome by stank.
Name: David S.
Message:
DO YOU LEEDS?
Tanj! It's enough to make me rewp. Rewp! Rewp! RRRREEEEWWWWWWPPPPPP!!! Question is: Who leedses?
Name: TheWeldon
E-mail: TheWeldon@icqmail.com
Message:
Well I love your 164 reasons hehe wot a laugh you are quite funny and i say quite but there ya go thats me all in a bun but what will that do to me but the one you want is her but not you or me in one roll but what if moons take over im not sure but the moon is rasther big but who cares its not as big as bi bird ahh well rolos are tasty!
Okay - you liked 164 reasons. I'm funny. You're in a bun? I want her? Who, the bun? Or rolls? The moon? Big bird? Rolos? Word salad.
Name: James
E-mail: james@schend.net
Homepage: www.schend.net
Message:
That 164 thing is pretty popular! Do you leeds?
Yes. People love the 164 reasons. And i don't know why. It's the stupidest site on the whole fucking internet, yet everyone seems to love it.
Rewp! Rewp! REWP! REWP! RRRREEEEWWWWWWPPPPPP!!!
rewp
Rewp - Previous
164 reasons - Previous Next
From James - Previous Next
Name: Ben
E-mail: WEBGOD@collective-unconscious.com
Homepage: www.collective-unconscious.com
Message:
Gah, the un-American PUKE!
Well, i'm sorry if my puke is unamerican. I thought i already covered this. I'm communist. And calling yourself a god (see e-mail adress) in all caps isn't exactly American. At least, it's not supposed to be.
Name: Tracey
E-mail: sheevaa@hotmail.com
Message:
Wow, i just got through most of your site...I can't take anymore!No, It was a laugh
the 164 reasons why that page is useless was great!
i have a 65th reason for you though:)
65. Because I said so
Keep up the nonsence:)
Yeah, I can't take it no more eethr.
Name: mike
E-mail: neal13815@buffnet.net
Message:
buttertoast,<>?:"P{}_+)(*&&^$#@!@!@~#%*__))*&!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~or~gv jhrcghwsf nbfsddsjjhcvbdfskhgvkjhdfslghhgjssshhhsdfgkjkgdgdjfkejnergdfsasghehwghwghghehggbhewkfdjjfdjfdjhhj4wggwewewewewewewewewewewewewewewewewerquggrgrqehayqhtrjrkejgegeghwngrwttqk.hhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaajartrtrtrthi;oljhoishjrtg,azbjh byghckd xvfd.m.m.m.m.m.mtnr, kxvtgy xysrn jcvbmndekt jhswtkmbtttttttgrkawgbrrrrrrrbhbhbhbhbhbhbhbhbhbhbhbhbhbhbhbhbhsrhkmgbbbbbbgbjmf v ,ndjg,aaaaaaaahjz n hgfv ghnfv bnfc n hn hhgb b b c c b cbncg gb ghnnbg fgfgfgfgfgfgfgfgfgfgfgfgfgfgfgfgfgfgfgfgfgfgfgfgfgfgfgfgfgfgfgfgfgfgfgfgfgfgfgfgfgfgfgfgfgfgfgfgfgfgvbvb h h hfvcdddddvbg fvcbghbghbghbghbghbghbghbghbghbghbghbghbghbghbghbghbghbghbghvhhhhhhhhhh fvcbgh bghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhfdgghhhhhhhffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggfffffffffffffffffffgggggggggggggffffffffffgggggggfffffgggffgggffffgfgggfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%##############################################################################################################################$9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
Name: steph
Message:
hey know what? you remind me of my friend Brian, which is kinda fun since you're Brian too.
See, if i went by the name donde this kinda confusion would never happen.
Name: James Schend
E-mail: james@schend.net
Homepage: http://www.schend.net
Message:
Yes mam.
Previous remind me of Brian
James - Previous Next
Name: Rafal
E-mail: kmfdmpm5kkos@netzero.net
Message:
dude im gonna be 16 in a week and i put my dick inside a girl today for the first time... i didnt take it all the way cuz we didnt have any condoms, but it was the most amazing feeling in the entire fucking world... sorry, i had to tell someone... you remind me of my friend Brian, but he's 16, so its not you. im from chicago, i skateboard, and i love punk rock.... write back man
Well, i don't have any problem with people telling me about sex, but i wish people would do their homework first ( I recommend "The guide to getting it on" from goofy foot press ). So what if you didn't put it in all the way, it doesn't matter, that's enough to spread STDs and get a woman/girl pregnant - there are small amounts of sperm on the penis before you ejaculate. Also, get that "penis in vagina = sex" idea out of your head. If you wanna see her squirm, you should be putting your tongue in her honeypot, rather than your dumbstick ( Ling's name for it on Ally McBeal ). Put your fingers in there, too, and don't wash your hands, so that they remind you that you've been there for the rest of the day. That's a perk that doesn't come with penis-in-vagina sex.
I usedto be 16. Back in the days before Mr Clinton taught us the joy of cigars.
Kein ??? für die Menschen
Name: Courtney
Message:
It's interesting that you so highly voiced your opinion of how you think rock sucks, but i have one question for you....
Do you ever get angry,frustrated,annoyed,or just plain confused about something?
If you look at a rock singers perspedctive you would see that they are basically getting something off there chest and expressing themselves.When you rid of anger in a powerful way it alows you to continue in life with a better understanding of yourself.Most rockers are highly successful because people can relate to how thay feel.So maybe you should give shitrock another chance or you might regret it later.
Yes, of course i get angry, frustrated, annoyed, all of the above. Yes, they're getting stuff off their chest. In a better culture everyone could play piss-off music together, but in this culture musicians are separated from the rest of the public. This means the music has to work for both the musicians and an audience. If playing piss-off music makes you feel better, that's fine, do it in your garage. But in front of an audience, you need more than noise, the music needs to make sense, and to last more than 30 years, it needs something beyond nostalgia and the band that played it.
I don't have a problem with volume, but hard rock has gone beyond that. We have amplifiers today. One guitar can create plenty of noise, there's no reason to have 3 guitars and an organ. Use the electronics to create volume. When you have 4 instruments that all have the same sound and all play all at once, you might as well turn the TV on to static.
BTW, i give the most credit to electronic hip-hop. Right now, i think that's the future of music. If you had asked me in the late 60s and early 70s, i would've said that about rock then. But i don't see how i'll regret not liking rock.
Name: Sweeve clives
Message:
How old is this website?
Well, umm, i believe the "talk too much" idea dates to about 1998 ( remembers those good ol' days? Monica Lewinsky and - well, i guess there wasn't all that much else goin' on then )
Name: Rafal
E-mail: kmfdmpm5kkos@netzeto.net
Message:
YES, YES... i realize all of the risks involved... oh, but Brian... i have made her scream at the top of her lungs from putting my tongue and fingers in her melting honey pot of love... we are both very horny and damn kinky... i won't post details (i'll spare everyone else), but i have been goin out with her for a while, and I am quite in love with her, i must say... i never though i would be, but i am. so... yeah, i just wanted to say i please her very much.... just the other day i made her cum 5X in about 2 hours (with breaks) and i am up to 9 blow jobs already, so we're doin pretty damn good. of course, we don't only engage in sexual activities, we have a strong and healthy relationship, but when we do get to it, we're like animals...
just had to get that off my chest
peace, Rafal
by the way, it's Kein Mitleid Fuer Die Mehrheit
So you got skills. But despite G-spots and clitorises (clitores? clitori? And how do you say it?), the best way to turn a woman on is to do the dishes.
Name: stephanie
Message:
actually i thought ur 164 reasons were pretty funny. ok so maybe i didn't read ALL of them, but to be honest, i don't think anyone really has :) o well
oh and one more thing - ur not the only one with the ability to talk NONSTOP! - i can totally understand where are coming from...once i start, there is absolutely no way of shutting me up, and i can at times, be incredibly annoying! which is why i luv the title of ur site so much: BRIAN TALKS TOO MUCH. It's a classic! u rok
Well, thanks, but i still think it sucks shit. And i haven't read all the reasons either.
I don't quite talk nonstop. Only when i'm opinionated about something, which is a lot of things. As far as "he said she said", i don't put up with that bullshit.
Name: Tracy Thompson
E-mail: superstitious_chick@hotmail.com
Message:
whoa! ok i'll have to say that the useless reasons were funny too but when you mixed all the german with the english it was so confusing to read......but i love it....tis awesome
Argg, more raves for 164 reasons. Mixed german with english? There's no german on the 164 reasons page. None. I don't understand the confusion. Did you happen, maybe, to visit my fix english spelling page? It's not german, don't look nothing like it.
Name: Laura
E-mail: juptahpower@hotmail.com
Message:
I have absolutely nothing interesting to say. I'd tell you about MY sex life, but well. Since my guy is currently across the country, I don't actually have one. It's very sad. Anyway! Congrats on finding loooooove. I suppose that makes your 164 reasons (etc) page even MORE useless, since you used up a bunch of reasons on you not ever getting married.
Well, it'll be real wild when he gets back, right? And, 164 reasons gets more embarrassing as i get older, but it's not like i can change it or delete it ( i lost the password ) and geocities will never bother to delete. Anyways, i'm not only getting married, i now am married, on July 13th. I'll mention the year 2001 in case this website stays around a long time.
Sex - Previous Next
164 reasons - Previous Next
Name: Will
E-mail: will@mwsi.net
Message:
too many guitars...... my friends and i sit down on the river banks in nashville tn with 8, 9, even 10 guitars some nights. we may sound like shit but its a pantload of fun. thats what its all about man, its about makin your buddy smile. we play music because it makes us and the people around us happy. be it rock, rap, etc. maybe sometimes we sound bad...... but we always feel good. -wa
I don't have a problem with folks doing that kinda thing. But in our society, a few people make music and most just listen to it. Well, most don't even listen. Anyways, it's fun to get in a group and make disgusting sounding crap, but it's not much fun for the listener. And the listener matters. Good rock bands know this, even if they pretend to hate everybody.
Name: Harry
E-mail: harry_hobson@hotmail.com
Message:
Face it buddy, your language doesn't work. You haven't defined the sounds clearly enough. "caught" can't be changed into "kot". The sound is too long...it still requires "au" to indicate that the sound is a long one. When you define the sounds more clearly, then you can talk.
I think one of my pages on my website goes into this. In western America, there usually is no difference between caught and cot. So whenever i hear people talking about which sound is used in which word and the "short o" and "au" sound, i'm left completely clueless. I figured that maybe i should do a favor to all those folks who don't make a difference between sounds that other do. The other approach is to account for every difference in every accent, but do you really know the sound difference between "father" and "bother?" These rhyme in most dialects, but in a few they don't. How about "fur, fir, fern?" Apparently, the Scottish say all three of these words differently. Having three different spellings is great if you're Scottish, but for everyone else, it's a guessing game.
Name: Hunter
E-mail: locust_fear@hotmail.com
Message:
I stumbled upon this page because I am done with my work and had a headache. I laughed alot and it made my headache go away. How about that one reason you didn't have be "If I didn't have a my horse I would have never went to college" and leave it at that. It'll drive people crazy...just never say anything else about it. Stare at people like you don't understand what they are talking about when they ask you. its the :| look. cool,huh? Well, peace, man. Jesus loves you more than you could know.
Great! I cure headaches. God bless you please, Mrs Robinson. Jesus loves you more than you will know.
The last line of the entry reminded me of a Simon & Garfunkle song, which is the reason for the last line of my response, BTW.
Name: Hunter
E-mail: locust_fear@hotmail.com
Message:
If I were a rich man....yega digga digga digga digga mum mum I'd go penny plop penny plop....
Just you wait, Henry Higgins, just you wait
A peanut is neither a nut nor a pea....oh, poo, nevermind, it is a nut
aren't teeth strange? just think about them. WIerd, huf?
jaa jaaj random words are fun. so ys spellyng stuff wyth 'I' as 'y'
peace
Man, how many times you gonna sign this thing? You did hit the truth about peanuts for a second - peanuts are poo. Nevermind.
Name: Al
E-mail: alice1@start.com.au
Message:
i can't stress how sad anyone has to be to read this page... i was trying to find 58 reasons why you're a bastard, to send it to a couple of guys i know... so why don't you make one of those?
If you think i'm a bastard, why don't you make i page about it? I'll link to it.
Name: Corn Nibblet
E-mail: BelleBrunette@Hotmail.com
Message:
Mmmmm... It's 6:48 in the morning. I accidently stayed up until 3:30 playing Redlite Distrikt (very addictive www.redlite.org you're a pimp, gotta get hoes and thugs and beat people down. anyway), and I realied that I didn't know what time I worked tomorrow, so I decidied to go in for opening to see if they needed me. But that's at 8, and I knew that if I slept, then I wouldn't want to get up, so I decided to stay awake all night (something I've only done twice in my life) and then go in to work. I got bored of Starcraft (not many people on at 5 in the morning, so I looked on yahoo for something to wake me up, and after looking at the terrorist newscrap, I went looking for games, and I came across Lee somethingerothers (Useless) hero generator, and that amused me for 13 and a half minutes, and then that site had your link as a site that linked to it, so I clicked on it. And I'm happy to say that I have read all your reasons that that site is useless, and I have to say that I agree with you wholeheartedly. But you DID help me stay away for 17 minutes longer than Lee's site, so kudos to you =) well, it's 6:55am now... I guess I can go have a shower or something. I'm tired, very tired. I don't think I should got to work in this condition, but you know... OH I just remembered why I wanted to write to you. It was to congratulate you on setting that 16 year-old straight about sex... stupid son-of-a... Anyway, God bless your marriage, and all that jazz.
My first thought - how nice, someone's thanking me for setting that teeny-bopper straight on sex. Then i saw the name Corn Nibblet, and now i'm not sure whether a compliment from Corn Nibblet is really a compliment. I mean, can you really trust the judgement of someone who chooses to be called Corn Nibblet?
Previous Sex
164 reasons - Previous Next
Name: Ice
E-mail: no@telodigo.com
Message:
Having the other 163 reasons fill the reason #65 is useless.
I don't understand. Oh, BTW, i recently learned that Geocities ( or is it Yahoo!? ) finally deleted the page. Maybe they stumbled on this page? Click me! See, it's dead.
Name: PAC Lurker
E-mail: someone@somewhere.com Clearly not a real e-mail address
Hey never had a stalker before! Cool! Anyways, the web page says a lot. I'm married to the most wonderful woman in the world, Willow, and my plans for world domination will soon be in motion. When i say soon, mind you, i mean geological time.
Name: Brian Schend
E-mail: derludwig@hotmail.com
Homepage: http://www.schend.net/brian
City: Bellingham, WA, USA
Hogwarts House: Ravenclaw
Stupidest Politician: George W
Sent: 1:45 PM, Friday 1 February, 2002
Message:
Now is this pathetic or what? Here i am, signing my own guestbook! Sad, really
I agree
Name: James Schend
Email: james@schend.net
Homepage: http://www.schend.net
City: Snohomish
Hogwarts House: Yes. Hogwarts House. Indeed. Verily. Clearly a muggle
Stupidest Politician: Um. Does Kenneth Lay count? ok
When?
Name: James Schend
Email: james@schend.net
Homepage: http://www.schend.net
City: Snohomish
Hogwarts House: in the middle of the street.
Ahh, the Knight Bus that picks up lost magicians (Am i a Harry Potter geek or what?)
Stupidest Politician: At the moment? Looks to be Cheney...
Sent: 4.02 pm - mon 20 may 2002
Umm, i haven't seen the movie but...
Clearly these terrorism threat are being concocted so Cheney and Ashcroft can take away people's rights. I think both conservatives and liberals can agree on that. And recently (August 2002), so has the court system. Looks like those guys being held in jail as long as Ashcroft feels like without any criminal charges against them might be freed after all.
Name: Billy
Email: BILLY@home - fake, of course
City: MEMPHIDS
Hogwarts House: THE ONE WITH THE MAGIC Maybe they can teach Billy to spell - and i don't usually mind spelling errors.
Stupidest Politician: ABraham LincolN!
Sent: 2.43 pm - tue 18 jun 2002
Hello.
Name: Billy
Email: Billyss @email - different, but still fake
City: Mmephis
Hogwarts House: OF HARD KNOCKS
Stupidest Politician: Gerge Washington!12
Sent: 2.45 pm - tue 18 jun 2002
Perhaps this is proof that the redneck reputation of Tennesee is well-deserved. Perhaps this is a big joke. Perhaps this guy was drunk off his ass (see first "perhaps")
Name: James Schend
Email: james@schend.net
Homepage: http://www.schend.net
City: Snohomish
Hogwarts House: of ill repute Hmm. Harry Potter 2 states that burning witches at the stake doesn't really hurt a witch who can cast an anti-burning spell, and then mentions a witch who got burnt 15 times because it "tickled." That must be her Hogwarts House.
Sent: 3.16 pm - sat 10 aug 2002
So you're saying i should mp3 it and post the shit online?
Name: James Schend
Email: james@schend.net
Homepage: http://www.schend.net
City: Yes
Hogwarts House: Indeed
Ahh, the Knight Bus that picks up lost magicians (Am i a Harry Potter geek or what?)
Stupidest Politician: Verily
Sent: 3.17 pm - sat 10 aug 2002
Message:
Um, delete that last one. I don't want to see my moronic "your/you're" mixup online.
Like i give a shit about a petty spelling "mistake." The use of apostrophes to mark contractions in English is obsolete since "contractions" are words in themselfs. Otherwise "I can't not do it" would mean you can't do it. (The double negative equals positive theory is crap, too - when you multiply, two negatives do make a positive, but in language you add. An old yellow car means add old, yellow, and car together, and you get the piece of crap i drive. How do you multiply old*yellow*car?) The point is, can't, don't, i'm, he's should be cant, dont, im, hes, or something like that.
Name: eduardo
Email: rocha@uclink.berkeley.edu
Stupidest Politician: that rich white guy
Sent: 10.54 am - 5 Jan 2003
Message:
willow is a midget from that one movie
Really? You mean there is a movie AND a midget named Willow? Now a movie, that's cool, but a midget is even cooler. (Note that Warwick Davis also play Professor Flitwick and the goblin banker in the Harry Potter films.) Even cooler that that is the Willow from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. If i wasn't already married, i'd marry Alyson Hannigan.
Back to Brian Schend talks too much